Tuesday, August 03, 2010
sign me up
“Only masochists love the things that hurt them.”
Why is it easy for me to love the things/people/ideas that wound me? Last month I was in a car accident. The girl at fault cost me thousands of dollars. She falsified the police report, lied to me and avoided me. She was easy to love.
I find myself strangely drawn to addicts, narcissists, those who are so selfish that they never can/will love anyone but themselves, or those who only “love” others out of a vacuum. Does this mean I need therapy to work it out? Or has Christ worked it in me?
What does it mean that my favorite holidays are New Year’s Eve (exponentially worse every year) and Valentine’s Day (never had a Valentine)? Is it beautiful that I love those days? Or is it foolish?
I wrestle with this. Sometimes I hate it. But sometimes it brings me the deepest peace and joy to have relentless hope.