Sunday, September 14, 2008

#15 Things I Love

#15: Brunch

I have amassed a collection of Brunch Facts & Myths for your amusement. All facts are factual. All myths are mythical. Money-back guarantee!

Myth: Brunch, being the smooshination (I made the word up) of breakfast and lunch, must by definition occur between breakfast hours and lunch hours.

Fact: Although we didn't invent it, NYC has perfected the art of brunch. And since we're the City That Never Sleeps and our bars stay open til 5am and people can barely drag themselves out of bed on the weekends, our official brunch hours are 10am - 4pm. However, most restaurants start serving brunch at either 11am or noon. Don't ever try to eat brunch before 10am or you will have a hard life.

Myth: "Oh, brunch! You can get that at Waffle House 24-7-365. Or IHOP! I just love IHOP!"

Fact: Seriously? I don't even have time to deal with you right now. Take it back.

Fact: The best way to make the most of brunch is to go in groups of 2-4. More than 4 is too many or you will never get a table in this City. If you're elsewhere, take up to 6 or even 8. But remember that conversation is the true food of brunch. Eww. I can't believe I just wrote that sentence. It's true, but still... it makes me feel all Chicken Soup for the Soul or something.

Fact: The best way to order is to do what my friends and I refer to as "A Split." For example, one of us will order an egg/protein dish and the other will order a carb-laden tray of body-killing breads and sugars. Then we split it. That way, we get our carbs and our sweets without having too much of either one. And then we die alone.

Bittersweet Story: My favorite brunch spot in the City has always been a 20-seat hole in the wall called Ninth Street Market. It's a beautiful room with brick walls and a fireplace and fresh flowers on each table. Locals line up an hour early--before the staff even shows up, hoping to get in with the first seating. I had a friend in town for my birthday in May, and he suggested that we go there, but the line seemed too long. Then, somehow, we got in right away. We sat for a couple of hours, talking and drinking coffee and enjoying A Split. The next morning, the owner woke up and didn't want to run a restaurant anymore, so he put all the dishes and chairs on the sidewalk. He fired everyone and put up a "For Rent" sign.

I've had a hard time finding a place I like as much, but I'm not going to stop trying. Every week I'll try out 2 places and see if there are any contenders. If you find yourself in the City on a weekend, drop me an email and I'll tell you my favorite brunch spots!

No comments: