Thursday, June 19, 2008

Plight of the Single Man - Part 2

(Continued from yesterday's post)

Common mistakes:
- Aiming too low. When a man is afraid he won’t be able to fulfill a woman, or when he's lazy, or when he wants to "rescue" someone, he “marries down” (intellectually, spiritually, etc.) to ensure he’ll always be enough.
- Looking for your exact opposite. While some opposites complement, others detract. Just because you can offer financial prowess doesn’t mean it’s wise to marry someone who can’t even balance her checkbook.

The best thing to do is to look for someone who needs nearly the exact measure of what you have to offer. If you’re a man of intellectual depth, it’s not going to serve you well to marry a dense woman. You may be able to meet her intellectual needs, but eventually you will feel that your gifts are being wasted, and you won’t find the satisfaction of using your gifts. You will become bored, because she won’t be able to stimulate you in that area. But marrying a woman who is your intellectual equal will serve as a continual source of fulfillment. And it will challenge you to greater heights.

If you possess spiritual insight, there are women out there who are praying for men who can challenge them in that area. They long for a man who is strong enough to lead them. You will find greater fulfillment in that area than in marrying a woman who isn’t your equal.

In short: think of what you have to offer and look for the kind of woman who needs it in the measure that you possess it. Being appreciated and respected for what you have to offer will be far more fulfilling and stimulating than trying to figure out what you want.

Thoughts? Criticisms? Hit me up in the comments.


Amanda Michele Steed said...

I think there's something wrong with your website. Either that, or there's something wrong with my browser, just something to check out.

Lewis said...

I think you're right on. And to be honest, the first statement convicted me. I think perhaps I've been aiming too low in my own expectations for marriage and dating. I'll have to think about how to change that.