Men, this might be revolutionary for you. This week, I had three conversations with guy friends who were struggling to find the right woman. They wanted to know why I didn’t address that in my recent week of blogging. And well, I kind of did (although it was directed toward women, I think it fits both sexes). But in the meantime, an even more interesting answer has presented itself. Stay with me…
Not long ago I read a really embarrassing book because a friend begged me to. I’ve read tons of relationship books, but this book taught me entirely new things. Some of this might seem archaic to you. If it does, read the book. Dr. John Gray makes better sense of it than I can.
One of the main things of note: A man derives his deepest satisfaction and fulfillment in a relationship by giving to a woman. A woman derives her greatest joy from receiving. The way this plays out over the course of a relationship is multi-tiered. But here’s the way I think it applies specifically to “finding the right woman.”
“When a man focuses on what he wants, he is sure to miss the woman for him. When he focuses on the question, ‘Am I the right man for her?’ then he will find clarity…” (Dr. John Gray)
Since men are happiest when they give, they’re missing the point by trying to figure out what they want to get. The better question to ask is, “What do I have to offer? And what kind of woman would be the best recipient of that?” Because when a man offers those things to a woman, he will find his greatest pleasure in being what she needs.
(I'll post the 2nd half tomorrow. And yes, this is a re-post... I had two friends tell me that they felt it was "too long" the first time.)