Thursday, December 14, 2006

Hope

First there were the three nights of no sleep, the worrying, the frustration, the striving...

I spent so much time booking the tour and preparing for the book and CD release that I barely had time to breathe. I thought, "This will change when the tour starts..."

Then there was the driving... 5,000 miles in 5.5 weeks, 30+ shows, so many people I wanted to spend time with...

I couldn't seem to settle down... couldn't find a peaceful moment.

But at the end of the tour, Angela asked me to stay in Anderson, SC, for a couple of days, where I had no agenda, little-to-no internet access or cell phone reception, and a place to shift into my lower gears... it was incredible...

I work too much. I work too hard. I know this. I can't seem to change it.

So why is it that the City That Never Sleeps is able to give me a sense of rest and peace? Something about the size and pace of this island makes me feel like I'm able to stand still in my own head... it has been the space, the break, the very breath of fresh air that I needed. Everything that felt unsettled within me has found a place to rest.

Oh, hope feels so good... I remember it now.

And in the midst of everything that the world throws at me, or that I throw at myself, I stopped and smiled, right in the middle of Union Square. I let the people brush past me, on their way to the Holiday Market, to the subway, to the Farmers Market. I closed my eyes, breathed deep, and took a few steps blindly as Mat Kearney sang into my ears:

...and i don't know much, but i found you here, and i cannot wait another year... don't know where you're coming from, but you're coming soon....

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